There is a lot in the news these days about how the government is watching all of us.* One of my favorite TV shows is all about that. So, in light of this new reality, I thought I’d offer up a few suggestions on how to hide things from people so that they will never be found – not even by the NSA.
If you want to hide something from a Baptist or a Presbyterian, put it in the third verse of any hymn. Note: This does not work for Methodists; they tend to sing every verse.
Want to hide something from someone with ADHD?
- Hide it in a list longer than 10 items and place it below the tenth item. They will never find it.
- Near something shiny or flashing.
- In a desk drawer.
Got something you don’t want a man to find?
- Put something on top of it. Anything will work. Test it out. Put a magazine on top of his car keys.
- In a woman’s purse.
- For high level security, put it in a tampon box.
- In a set of instructions. Perfectly secure there. (This one doesn’t apply to all men, so be sure you know who you are dealing with.)
Children? This is like shooting fish in a barrel, people:
- In the veggie drawer or in a bag of Brussel sprouts.
- With their tooth brush.
- Put it at eye-level and ask them to look for it. This one is wonderfully devious.
- Near the broom, dust pan, dog leash, pile of dirty dishes – really anything near or in anything relating to a chore.
And what’s easier than hiding things from kids? Hiding things from teens!
- Put it in the morning sunlight.
- In the homework assignments.
- The basket of clean laundry waiting to be put away.
- An empty toilet paper roll (it’s going nowhere).
- That bag of Brussel sprouts is still good, too.
A special shout-out goes to my niece Melissa Hanna, who shared some of these excellent hiding places with me.
* My thoughts on Government surveillance – Yes, I believe they have the ability to spy on all of us, but they don’t have the manpower, so relax.